A New Intimacy

Because I used to be a stripper, I sometimes think I know a lot about intimacy. I became expert at cultivating the dance of longing, the tease without release. I can go on at length about how those who are frequent clientele and those of us who've worked in the sex industry have intimacy issues. The flirt is easier than the reality of being close to someone.

I also like to believe that I've learned from and perhaps worked through my own body politics, hang ups, and fetishes. I'm all about live and let live.

Every now and then during my days working the pole, I'd cultivate a regular or two who were doctors. They got a certain kick out of telling me the Latin names of the different body parts I was exposing, hiding, or contorting on the stage. I'd smile at their cleverness, while inside, I didn't really care how the muscles of my arms and hands worked to swing me around the pole. It was all, well, Latin.

Now that I'm learning all those Latin names myself, seeing how all the parts move and work together, discovering bones in my body that I never knew existed, I finally get it. We are miracles! Really, just the way the muscles all work together to flex and articulate our hands, how the metacarpals and phalanges all work together to help me type these words, is just amazing.

I'm palpating my classmates and myself to find bones, muscles, tendons, and nerves. The funny bone? It's not funny, and it's not a bone. It's the ulnar nerve.

I'm re-evaluating those former clients who thought they were seducing me with their big, clever doctor words. I'm thinking about the me I was then, just trying to earn some bucks to pay for my writing habit and an MFA in creative writing.

I had already put myself in a box, unable to understand their language of intimacy, their own discovery of the miracle that lies beneath our skin. Turns out it was kind of sexy after all.

Simply Shelly

It took awhile for me to get my groove back. My leg didn't really begin to feel better until around Sunday, but by then, I'd received some bad news.

About a year ago, I began seeing a new Reiki client. Her name was Shelly. We worked together for a few months before I made the move to Portland. After my move from Salem, I sent her distance Reiki. It became increasingly difficult to find out what was going on with her after my move.

It's hard to genuinely describe this complex, stubborn, and infectiously positive woman. Sometimes she made me crazy because I felt she needed to be more open to Western medicine in her healthcare. On the other hand, her constant positive attitude and belief in the beauty and mystery of life was deeply inspirational.

When I found out that she had passed, I discovered that underneath the sadness was the gnawing guilt that I hadn't done enough for Shelly. The last time I'd sent her a full distance Reiki treatment was two weeks before school started. Things didn't look good when I worked on her. (A side note, often when I do Reiki, whether in person or distance, I "see" things going on in the person's body or energy field). I e-mailed her. She didn't respond.

About a week into school, she e-mailed to request more distance Reiki. I continued to send it once in awhile, but I was too caught up in school to really send more than a little burst here and there. I had no idea she was getting so much worse.

Shelly passed away last week. I found out through Facebook. In one of those perfect coincidences, I was to be in Salem during her wake. I was there only long enough to talk to her brother, David. He was warm, wonderful, and seemed to intuit exactly what to say to make me feel better.

He let me know that my work with Shelly meant a lot to her--that she spoke highly of me. I told him that I wished I'd been with her at the end, to help ease her passage. He was very kind and told me that he sensed my work with her through out the year had helped her at the end. It was very comforting to hear and dissipated the gray cloud hanging over me.


I thought about how as an acupuncturist, I will probably lose patients now and then. I don't know if it gets easier, or if we learn how to let go and let God. I know this was Shelly's path, but it's still difficult for me not to argue with God, or with Shelly.

I think her spirit and her inspiration will be with me for the rest of my life. I hope that all I learned from her will help me be a better practitioner.

Right now in school, it's like we're just learning the alphabet as our teachers take us through point locations, muscles and bones, and organ systems. Later, we'll learn to write sentences, and eventually, before we graduate, I hope we'll know how to create a full story of what's going on our patients' bodies.

I've already seen glimpses of our teachers trying to prepare us for the emotional and spiritual aspects of healing. I sometimes fear that in this regard, I'll never know enough.

Losing My Religion

I've had a rough couple of days. I've written about the academic ups and downs of being an acupuncture student, but I haven't written about the personal ones.

To be honest, one of the reasons I was drawn to acupuncture was because of my frustration with Western medicine. I think that is probably the number one reason most people seek out CAM, or Complimentary and Alternative Medicine.

Strangely enough, my very first acupuncture appointment, about 11 years ago, was horrific. An ancient practitioner, who barely spoke English, cascaded my back with needles. He then attached little diodes so that minute electrical currents could run through the needles giving the Qi a little extra stimulation. It was so excruciatingly painful that I sobbed, loudly. The currents ran painful spasms all through my body. Despite my loud crying, no one came to the room or ever checked on me. I had never had acupuncture before so I had no idea that this was not within normal protocol.

When an attendant finally came to take out the needles, I asked if it was supposed to hurt that much. She seemed embarrassed and nodded silently. I limped from the room, my face red and swollen from crying. I never saw the practitioner again.

Later, still wanting to find relief from the chronic pain I had, I did more research about acupuncture, read some studies from the NIH, and got recommendations. I went to another acupuncturist, Dr. Kim. I told him about my first experience and he said he'd heard stories but promised to not use electro-acupuncture on me. It was a much more pleasant experience. It didn't alleviate my pain as much as I'd hoped, but Dr. Kim did tell me that there was something wrong with my nervous system and that I should get an MRI. That was the beginning of finally getting a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis.

Here I am, eleven years later, learning how to become an acupuncturist myself. I've had lots of negative experiences in Western medicine. And mostly, positive experiences with Naturopathy and Chinese medicine.

Most Westerners seem attracted to CAM modalities because Naturopathy and Chinese medicine treat the patient as a whole person, linking together all the symptoms into a whole treatment plan--not just looking at a single symptom as separate from all the others.

I'll be honest, I've put Chinese medicine on a pedestal. This past weekend, the pedestal got knocked out from under me. It was a tough lesson.

On Sunday, I went to a special clinic at the school for people with auto-immune illnesses. I was needled for the spasticity in my right leg. When I left the clinic, I felt great. As soon as I got home and tried to sit down, it felt as if a knife was tearing into my hip and outer thigh. It was excruciating. I called the clinic and went back in.

After all was said and done, I spent Sunday evening on the couch, alternately icing and heating my hip and leg. I took a double dose of my muscle relaxer and tried to study. Simmering under the fog of drugs and dull pain, my anger and disappointment grew.  It was hard to focus on the TCM theory book.

I was no longer sure that acupuncture was for me. Something had gone wrong during the treatment and now I was in a lot of pain. I wanted to believe that I was experiencing a healing crisis and that within a day or two, my leg would be in great shape.

On Monday, the sharp pain was gone and I was left with just a stiff, aching leg. Someone from the clinic called to check on me. It did not go well. I couldn't understand much of what she said because of background noise. What I did hear was, "you should have told us you were sensitive..."

I responded that it's in my notes that I'm sensitive and I mentioned it during the palpation part of the exam. I was in pain, I was angry, and probably worst of all, I was losing faith in this medicine that I've dedicated my life to.

To hear a practitioner say, from my perspective, that it was my fault the treatment had gone badly infuriated me. I try very hard to advocate for myself. Western medicine taught me that. I encourage others all the time to advocate for themselves in managing their health.

Today, my leg is better. Just a little stiffness, achiness, and footdrop, but I'm walking much, much better. I've talked to others at school, including the acupuncturist who normally treats me. It seems the needles were left in too long for my ability to tolerate them. It won't happen again, because I'll be much, much more vocal than I've been in the past.


The experience also left me terrified about the possibility of one day hurting one of my patients. All I can do is remain aware and sensitive. I hope we get the training in our program to help us deal with issues like mine when they come up.

Despite my meltdown yesterday, I'm staying in school. I try to believe that all I've been through with MS will make me a better practitioner. It's gifted me in so many other ways, perhaps becoming a competent healer will be the best gift of all.

Mindfulness

I'd like to take this moment to plug my classmate, Lydia's blog, Reflections of an Oriental Medicine Student.

She's also writing about her experience as a TCM student. She gets all the credit for informing us about H.R. 646.

Go, Lydia!

Back to our regularly scheduled blog: On the roller coaster that is school, this week has been great! I studied like a mad woman and aced my practical exam in Living Anatomy. I was nauseous when I went into the room for the test. It went so much better than I expected.

It began simply enough. "Where is the sternoclavicular joint?"

Easy!

Then it got it a little harder from there, but it was over pretty quickly. Great relief!

I also aced my pericardium and heart points quizzes this week. I'm a very happy woman. It seems so up and down, one week I fail a quiz and I feel devastated, the next week I make a few A's and I'm at the top of the world.  Will I get to the point where I'm not so deeply affected by letter grades?

After the practical exam, I still had too much adrenalin running through me. I was still feeling very anxious even though I knew I'd passed. It was a gorgeous day. I came home, put Kieran into the car, and we drove to the 1,000 acre park. The sky was crystal blue clear, there was a strong wind blowing high in the trees, and we found a new trail through some woods. It was heavenly. The perfect way to end a really stressful couple of days.

The following day in Research class, the professor, Ryan Milley,  led us on a mindful meditation before beginning the lecture. It's really wonderful to begin a class with a few minutes of meditation. We've been looking at published studies on acupuncture and other CAM modalities. We're learning how to read scientific studies, critique them, and use them to support our practice.

What's interesting is that in some of the studies, the acupuncturist tells some of the subjects that there is going to be a good outcome from the treatment. It's been proven that if the patient gets this little positive plug from his acupuncturist, the results are more positive than for those who get a practitioner with a flat affect who gives very little explanation of the treatment. On the upside is that those who receive both kinds of treatments do better than those who receive no acupuncture at all.

Establishing mindfulness in us while we're still first year students teaches us experientially how much we can benefit ourselves and our future patients. By being mindful and present with patients, we help them create a better outcome from their treatments. 

I hope that mindfulness will also get me to a place where the highs and lows of my academic career don't take me on such an emotional roller coaster ride. I believe meditation and Qigong will continue teaching me balance.


I know for certain we can rewire our brains. My healing path has proven that. We have the power within us to accomplish so much. It all starts with a few quiet moments, some deep easy breathing, and a focus inward away from the busy bee-hive mind. If you're truly present, it makes the ride so much more manageable.

Namaste

Mama said there'd be days like this

I got my last Living Anatomy quiz back, today. I didn't do well, not well at all. I knew I didn't do great, but a total fail? Wasn't expecting that.

I wanted to run home, hide in my room, and cry. I've had lots of moments like that in the past few weeks--I want to scrunch up my face and weep. Instead, I pulled up my big girl panties, stepped out of the tide of despair pulling on my ankles, and returned to class.

I really like TCM theory, so it was easy to fall into the lecture and learn.

I'm a nervous test-taker. I learned all kinds of tricks to calm down, focus, and do okay on tests way back as an undergrad. But something strange happened on my way to medical school. I forgot those skills and now, in a rush of throat-clenching anxiety, I speed through my tests, miss questions, and don't read as carefully as I should.

As an undergrad, I accepted that I wasn't a good test taker. I made up for it by being a good writer. You want a paper, an essay, how about a presentation? I can do that and usually do it well. But multiple choice? Fill in the blank? True or False? The black and white, the obvious, escapes me.  Lately, more so than usual.

After TCM Theory, I went to Qigong class. I love Qigong. It has turned into a movement meditation that soothes my anxiety and quiets the voices of doom. It seems to be a natural extension of Reiki. The practice lives in my body and emotions. I can't yet put words to the experience. I want to stay in the powerful and gentle flow. The words will come later.

So with the yang comes the yin, with the fear comes the release and peace. Despite my anxiety and doubt, my heart continues to feel joy learning this medicine. Some days, that's all the assurance I get.

A link to the Shirells singing "Mama said..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQlImg2bm28&feature=related

Acupuncture Goes Mainstream

Our classmate Lydia forwarded a notice to us all about H.R. 646, The Federal Acupuncture Coverage Act of 2009.


It means that Social Security will cover many acupuncture treatments under the Medicare Program. That is just huge. If Medicare is going to cover acupuncture, then the insurance companies will have to follow suit. There are some wonderful comments on the site about the effectiveness of acupuncture, many written by MDs.

Please go and cast your vote for passing this bill. So far TCM is winning!

The Cure for Mean Girl Syndrome

It's a human need to belong to a group. We have groups for every category of human interaction: work, family, religious, political, and school. We all, whether introverted, extroverted, or somewhere in between, find ways to connect with other human beings. It's part of our survival. We're hard-wired for it.

Even the misanthrope would be lost without a group to project his or her abhorrence upon. At the very basic, groups help us to survive, and at the most, they support our growth as human beings moving through this lifetime.

I have what my best-friend calls, "new girl syndrome." We moved a lot when I was growing up. It was never easy being the new girl at school. When ever I get into a new social group, I feel a lot of anxiety. In talking to others, I've found that a lot of people feel this way.

The first week or so at OCOM, we were all cautious with one another, friendly, accepting. It felt as if there was a giant cloud of new girl syndrome floating over our 74 person, male and female, class.

Now that a few weeks have passed and we've gone through the rigors of our first few tests together, and have had to partially disrobe and palpate one another--we're still navigating the tricky waters of friendship and classmate interaction.

Though we've overcome normal social boundaries by groping one another's muscles and bones, or sticking little colored dots on each other's acupuncture points until we look like human dot candy, we're still all so new to each other that real friendships may only just be starting.

What I've noticed is that even though we've grown more comfortable with one another, there don't seem to be any cliques forming. I haven't heard a shred of gossip about any fellow classmates. There are certainly people who have more things in common and gravitate toward one another, but never at the exclusion of others.

I think about the movie, "Mean Girls." When I watched that movie, some of it felt true, but mostly, it fell short of capturing the incredible cruelty that can destroy an adolescent's self esteem. Lately, we've see that truth in the recent headlines about bullied teenagers killing themselves.

I don't expect anything like that will happen with our class. I mean, we're all too self-actualized, right?

Honestly, I feel optimistic about us as a group. I can't say I've ever felt more welcomed and energized by a new social/school group before. We all want each other to succeed. If there is any competition, it seems to be internalized. I know when I'm feeling competitive, I have to look at my own insecurities and change my definition of success.

I like believing it's because as a group, most of us have chosen a profession where we want to put wholeness of body, mind, and spirit into practice. We're walking the walk.

Maybe all it takes to cure new girl syndrome is choosing a path of wholeness and staying on it.

Relief

I'd been having a lot of trouble getting my web site uploaded. It was really, really stressing me out. I took a web design class about two years ago, but we didn't really work with Dreamweaver, my web design tool, as much as we did with outdated software. When I'm in Dreamweaver, I'm usually at a great disadvantage, trying to guess my way through it.

It meant a lot to me to take the web design class so I would be able to have more control over my small Reiki business and how I presented myself to potential and current clients. I'll never be a professional web designer, but I know enough to keep my business going and to talk to people who know more than I do--in other words, I ask for professional help and gladly pay for it when my business needs it.

I'm writing about this because this has been an undercurrent of anxiety for me as I begin my career as an OCOM student. I've wanted to continue working with clients, but not at the expense of my schooling. It's been a balancing act and the web site updates felt like a necessary part of smoothing out the transition for me and my clients.

I know all of this work on my Reiki business will someday translate into how I run my acupuncture business. I think our Community Outreach teacher, Jason Stein, said that running a business is like having a relationship. You have to put as much work into it as you would with a spouse, child, or friend.

I really want to thank my dear friend, David Martin. He runs NolaFlash in New Orleans. He hosts my site and generously and kindly talks me through my mishaps with web snafus. I honestly don't know what I'd do without him.

I guess the lesson is that we're all training to become medical professionals. We'd hope that our patients would come to us with their ailments before sticking themselves with needles, or concocting their own herbs. I think, if our businesses is ailing, or needs a little boost, it's necessary to call in professionals. Wouldn't you do that for the other relationships in your life?

The beauty of irony

This morning, I skipped going to yoga to make a client call. Since my Reiki article was published I've been hearing from people all over the United States looking for treatments or just insights into their own quest for wholeness and health.

As I've mentioned, Uma Carter is the person leading our wonderful Qigong and yoga class at school. She's a great teacher and it really pained me, literally and figuratively, to miss her class this morning. But, I had a new client, also named Uma, who had left a message for me a week ago.

Now that my respectful touch and community outreach classes are over, it's time to figure out how to fit clients back into my schedule. I called Uma in Virginia and we talked about her husband's recovery from a heart attack. His neurologist is also a licensed acupuncturist and uses acupuncture in his treatments for Uma's husband's tremors.

I encouraged Uma to find a Reiki practitioner in her area and to start getting treatments. She was really enthusiastic, warm, and assertive about being healthy. Uma wants to become a Reiki practitioner herself, so she's on the right path.

She told me that while she was on chemo 8 years ago for breast cancer, that she kept up with her daily yoga practice. I told her that yoga has also helped me a lot and I felt I couldn't live without it. Uma is from India and I thought about all the connections between India, China, and the west and how all of us are searching for wholeness.

Now that I've given some guidance to Uma of Virginia, I'll do some yoga here at home before class starts. My achy body will be so happy.

Have a great day, everyone!

Time, time, time

I've just spent three hours updating my web site. I still have a few hours more of work to go. One of the anxieties that has been riding my back like an monkey with halitosis is how I've had to neglect my business and my clients since beginning school.

I had a grand plan this summer; I would see as many clients as possible, teach a lot of Reiki and clairvoyant classes, and get my web site updated with all kinds of new gadgets and features for the user.

I hired a business consultant, Erin Donely, who helps people with new-agish type businesses really get focused. She was truly brilliant, insightful, and I know her guidance will help when the day comes to create my acupuncture business.

I hired a web designer to smooth out the kinks in my web site and eliminate the "fat" code. Drew Soske did a marvelous job.

The classes I taught went really well. Clients seemed happy. Many were okay with the idea that I was going to have to disappear for a month to get acclimated to school. Well, it's October 2nd and the changes to the web site still aren't posted. Homework and studying have forced me to neglect client calls and e-mails.

And, I have three tests to study for this weekend. I feel as if I've been carrying a tray full of loaded dishes and the chef keeps piling on more. Spaghetti is about to crash in a fantastic tomato mess on the floor and walls. How do I take care of my clients and still do well in school?

I'm getting to the point where I have little routines and feel like I can manage all my classes. But when I think of taking out an hour and a half to talk to a client, anxiety fills my chest and a tight ache creeps up my back, into my neck, and ends as a nasty head ache.

Thing is, I love working with my clients. There is so much joy in connecting with another human in an emotional and psychic space. I feel as if I can take this weird ability to "see" things and use it like a viewing screen to "show" clients how to clear their path toward wholeness and happiness. To feel as if I can't even manage one or two client calls a week fills me with dread and guilt.


But, I love school, too! It's overwhelming, plunges me into moments of panic, but I really do love what I'm learning and how it all fits together. The more I study Chinese medicine, the more the elegance shines through.

Qi gong, yoga, and meditation help. Laughing with friends helps. Playing with my dog and cat helps. And getting just a little bit more accomplished each day feels great. Breathe...

Yoga and Qi Gong with Uma!

My classmate, Uma, has put together a free yoga class for everyone on campus. We'll also be doing Qi Gong at the beginning of the sessions.

From Uma:
Monday - yoga/movement/qigong from 11:30 to 12:50 in room 3
Wednesday - 2:40-4  in room 3
Friday - 10am to 11:20 in the Annex

Starts Wednesday the 29th but we won't be meeting the 31st (this Friday). Also, we decided to try to do Qigong for the first 20 minutes of each class (fulfilling the 60 minutes a week outside of class). Hope to see you all and please pass along the word.

Big thanks to Uma for putting this together.

This flu thing was really knocking it out of me. I made an appointment at the clinic yesterday. When the needles went in, it really hurt in some spots. The qi was definitely blocked. But then, my chest and sinuses opened up and I took a deep breath. I hadn't realized how much I hadn't been breathing. No wonder I was exhausted.

They also gave me some granules (ground herbs) to drink 4 to 5 times a day. I am feeling much, much better. It's so good to be so well taken care of.

I'm looking forward to points class today. Reading the text has left me really confused. I have to stop reading at certain points, take a deep breath, and remind myself that it will all make sense eventually. I learn best through doing. Today we'll actually find the points on one another. Hopefully, something will click in my head.

That click moment happened yesterday in Qi Gong. I know that doing a Qi Gong practice really benefits you but I didn't understand on a body level how it applied to medicine. I was able to stay in class for a half hour yesterday before my clinic appointment. Just that little time in class helped me to feel better than I'd felt all day.

I felt an aha! moment in my body. If I do this practice, I'll stay healthier, more focused, and grounded. Nice.

Semantics

I've had a wicked cold for the past few days. I forgot to take my Tan Ma Gou Teng Yin Wan, or Jade Screen. I've been sick a lot this year, kind of unusual for me. My acupuncturist at the school clinic gave me Jade Screen to prevent that from happening.

Lesson #1 in Chinese medicine: Herbs don't work if you don't take them.

I've been thinking a lot about how well all of our classes dovetail into one another. In Living Anatomy, we're learning how to palpate the clavicle, shoulder, and upper arm while in Points class we're learning the lung points, which are mostly on the arm and shoulder.

In our Research class, we've spent some time learning techniques on how to be mindful; present with our studies, with our day-to-day lives, and eventually present with our patients, giving them our full attention and focus.

That attention is expounded upon in the Respectful Touch class where we learn to be sensitive to our patients' comfort and boundaries. What I like about Respectful Touch is that it asks us to be aware of our own issues as well. For the next three to four years we, as students, are going to be practicing on one another. It'll be good to get it right with each other so that we can be the amazing practitioners I know we're all going to be.

I really enjoyed this week's lecture in A&P. Our professor, Regina Dehen, talked about physics and energy and basically how we don't really know why atoms stay together or do the weird things that they do.

Energy is weird, even within the laws of Thermodynamics--order and entropy, yin and yang. So it's pretty cool to see how physics dovetails into our TCM Theory class and the focus on yin and yang energy. Sometimes the differences between Western and Eastern medicine seem nothing more than an issue in semantics...

And all that comes full circle back to Research where we will learn the skills to analyze, and for some of us, create the studies to prove the efficacy of acupuncture in a Western paradigm.

One of the papers we had to read for the next lecture was titled, "Understanding unexpected courses of multiple sclerosis among patients using complementary and alternative medicine: A travel from recipient to explorer"

It was a study done in Sweden looking at people who use Complimentary Alternative Medicine (CAM) to treat their multiple sclerosis. I felt as if I were reading my life story.

For those patients who had frustrating experiences with Western medicine, CAM empowered them to take control of the disease and their lives. It was pretty awesome to have such a personal connection to a scientific paper. Validating...

After a long day of bed rest and bad sci-fi shows yesterday, I'm going to try to catch up on studies today. I'm blessed to be living in a household with other OCOM students. We've all agreed to meet up and palpate each other. There will be a quiz this week...now where did I put that coracoid process?

Introducing, Pointella!

The past two days have been hard for me. I've had to get up early, yesterday for my Hep B vaccine and TB test, and today for a dental appointment. It's been difficult to stay alert in class. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. I'm looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow and regaining my optimism.

I have multiple sclerosis. The worst symptoms for me are fatigue and chronic muscle spasms/pain. When I don't get enough sleep and when I have a lot of new information to process, my symptoms flare up.

Tonight, I'm curling up with my "Chinese Acupuncture and Moxibustion" book for a couple of hours, then treating myself with the season premier of "Big Bang Theory." A little Sheldon and Leonard will cheer me up.

Yesterday, I had my first points class. In this class we learn where all those points are on the body that access qi. In other words, it's where the needles go!

On break yesterday, I went to the bookstore and picked up my point location figure. I've named her Pointella. What do you think?

Pointella is living outside for now. She smells of cheap plastic and mothballs. So my dotted doll is off-gassing before she can come into the house.

I spent some time today with other first year students, Uma and Celia. They're organizing a "Movement Club" for all the students.  On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, we're going to get together to do yoga, Qi Gong, and any other movement meditation that inspires you. Everyone is invited!

We're still waiting to hear what campus locations will be available for the club. Stay tuned here or look on the campus bulletin boards for more information about the Movement Club.

Yesterday, when I was at the doctor's office and then at the nurse's clinic getting my shots, everyone wanted to talk about acupuncture. It was nice to talk to people in Western medicine about Chinese medicine.

Today, my dentist had some comments to make about the anatomy flashcards sitting on my lap. I've learned to not talk to him about acupuncture. He's not interested. As he was giving me a shot to numb my gums, I desperately wished for acupuncture instead.

As he inserted the needle and shook my cheek around a bit, he told me a gruesome story about having to saw off a leg while in his anatomy class. I'm not usually squeamish, but the combination of the shot and the story made me feel faint.

I thought about our Respectful Touch class and how we'd talked about the kinds of casual conversations you might have with your patients. The older I get, the more I believe in the simple adage, "Discretion is the better part of valour."

I don't know that I'll be going back to that dentist. I'll take it as a lesson learned for my future patients...

First Week!

Welcome to the Quest for Quan Yin

I wanted to come up with something clever for the title of this blog. Being a student of acupuncture, I've heard plenty of jokes already about needling, pricking, etc. Everything that immediately came to mind seemed a bit lewd.

For inspiration, I looked around my study area. There is a picture of Dr. Usui, the founder of Reiki, a large painting of Sarasvati, a statue of The Virgin of Guadalupe, a candle representing Erzuli, a statue of Arch Angel Michael, and a picture of Quan Yin. Am I a sancreatic/eclectic witch? Yep.

As a wiccan, I dedicated myself to the Goddess of Compassion, Quan Yin, about 15 years ago. I had no idea at that time that I would eventually become a student of Chinese medicine. So in honor of full circles, beautiful leaps of irony, and the medicine itself, I launch this blog. Welcome!

I intend to record my personal journey of discovery, share my excitement about the medicine, and document the goings-on of my new community at the Oregon College of Oriental Medicine (OCOM). 

Statue of Quan Yin from the New York Metropolitan Museum of Art

For today's adventure in my studies, I went to visit my general practitioner, Dr. Chang. She's an allopathic (Western) doctor but is very supportive of my studies. I had to get a tuberculosis test and my first shot for the Hepatitis B vaccination.

I stay away from flu shots because vaccines tend to make my MS symptoms flare up. But I figure that catching Hep B would really compromise my immune system so maybe a few days of discomfort from the vaccine won't be such a bad thing.

The shot hurt! But I was brave, y'all!

I rushed home from the doctor's office just in time to walk down to the campus clinic for my acupuncture appointment. Sometimes when I have acupuncture, the needle hits a sensitive spot and I yelp or jump. After getting the Hep B shot, the acupuncture needles barely registered.

I have two more Hep B shots to go--one in a month and another five months after. It feels good to have that marked off my list.

Today, I have my first points class. I'm excited and nervous. I have this underlying fear that I'll be so overwhelmed by all this new information that my brain will just lock down and not retain any of it.

So, I breathe, play with my dog and cat, and I laugh loudly with my friends and boyfriend. It helps.