Time, time, time

I've just spent three hours updating my web site. I still have a few hours more of work to go. One of the anxieties that has been riding my back like an monkey with halitosis is how I've had to neglect my business and my clients since beginning school.

I had a grand plan this summer; I would see as many clients as possible, teach a lot of Reiki and clairvoyant classes, and get my web site updated with all kinds of new gadgets and features for the user.

I hired a business consultant, Erin Donely, who helps people with new-agish type businesses really get focused. She was truly brilliant, insightful, and I know her guidance will help when the day comes to create my acupuncture business.

I hired a web designer to smooth out the kinks in my web site and eliminate the "fat" code. Drew Soske did a marvelous job.

The classes I taught went really well. Clients seemed happy. Many were okay with the idea that I was going to have to disappear for a month to get acclimated to school. Well, it's October 2nd and the changes to the web site still aren't posted. Homework and studying have forced me to neglect client calls and e-mails.

And, I have three tests to study for this weekend. I feel as if I've been carrying a tray full of loaded dishes and the chef keeps piling on more. Spaghetti is about to crash in a fantastic tomato mess on the floor and walls. How do I take care of my clients and still do well in school?

I'm getting to the point where I have little routines and feel like I can manage all my classes. But when I think of taking out an hour and a half to talk to a client, anxiety fills my chest and a tight ache creeps up my back, into my neck, and ends as a nasty head ache.

Thing is, I love working with my clients. There is so much joy in connecting with another human in an emotional and psychic space. I feel as if I can take this weird ability to "see" things and use it like a viewing screen to "show" clients how to clear their path toward wholeness and happiness. To feel as if I can't even manage one or two client calls a week fills me with dread and guilt.


But, I love school, too! It's overwhelming, plunges me into moments of panic, but I really do love what I'm learning and how it all fits together. The more I study Chinese medicine, the more the elegance shines through.

Qi gong, yoga, and meditation help. Laughing with friends helps. Playing with my dog and cat helps. And getting just a little bit more accomplished each day feels great. Breathe...